Butterfly fly, but the sea

Twenty-one, this is the age gap between me and the mother.Life is like a knife, knife age a man, tempered mother in years and life, look old, ugly, most notably his mother was a dumb.  When I was in elementary school, most parents would be afraid to open.I’m learning very well, it has been a victory banner hide their low self-esteem, but I was afraid to open parents, afraid of his mother sitting in the student’s parents, unobtrusive and aging, fear of the students pointed at my back and cynical to say she is my mother dumb, in my vanity young at heart, I do not want others to know that she is my mother.  Six years of junior high school for three years I never let her parents gave me too, after high school, the city’s children do not know my family more, my own mother has been no mention of his family, the only thing I pride or my grades, even the most girls are not good at physics and chemistry I have learned with great interest, the smartest boy in the class can pull down the length.I was very quiet, just learning the most tired lying in the window watching the distant tree.I know students call me secretly Everest is the highest mountain in the world, because I study my indifference.  In fact, outside of school, I miss his mother, time to go home to see his mother fetching water from far places, constantly changing the way shoulder to shoot back, I’ll meet her and took it, mother bent followed me all the way back.Mother and daughter both silent, I can say but do not want to say, want to say but can not say the mother, only looked at me with eyes of concern.But most of the time, I still hate his mother, Grace did not hate her as the mother of a beautiful classmate, she can not hate as greetings to his daughter like any other mother, unaware of their daughter hated her mind, she did not have to hate I have a good family.  The college entrance examination, my mother talked to me once, and that was the only time my mother came to school to see.That day my father accompanied his mother standing under a tree, two people are uneasy standing there waiting for me, I told my father, that they did not find me things do not come to school.  I went downstairs and saw them look in the eyes, I asked my father how you came to say hello father a long time did not go home, your mother want you.I look at the side of the mother, she was smiling at me, only the name of my father and I can understand sign language.Mother pointed to his hand, but his hands together on his side of the brain, then pointed to me, I understand the meaning of the mother, she said she wanted to be me.Father stood sorry to say, we know you do not want us to come to school to find you, your mother a few days ago was dreaming about you out of things, is not practical for several days, have to pull me see you, see to you anything good we can rest assured.  That day I ask parents to eat dumplings, mother restaurants many people know, her gesture will lead to other people’s curiosity, it has been quietly sitting there, listening to his father talk to me, a smile on his face from time to time to see if I look at father.I put the clip in the mother’s dumplings dish, happily watching their mothers eat in the mouth, feeling suddenly burst into tears.This is my mother and most intimate action, over the years, I always despise his mother, has been shrouded in dark own vanity and repressed inferiority complex, he has been reluctant to acknowledge his mother, afraid to tell people I have a dumb mother.The poor dumb woman just not practical because of his night a few dreams, he must run around to see his daughter.I suddenly feel that their vanity is so ridiculous that their behavior is so absurd, no mother in the original language of the world, some other mother and deep love.  Later, I went to college, come home, always happy to see his mother smile, she kept giving me sign language, was anxious wished I was able to speak.I also spoke sign language while playing.School, my mother always told in the back of the car, and stood there, pointed to himself, then hands together and stacked in the side of the brain, and finally pointed to me, I know that the mother will always wanted to say I.In the side of the window, I was tearful far waved to her, until no longer see the mother figure.  Junior year, I often headache, mother knew sent a big, soft pillow chrysanthemum.From dry to the pillow face towel sewing chrysanthemums, mothers are single-handedly crafted out of the pillow for some time, a lot of really good headache.Senior graduate soon, I found a boyfriend, I do not care about a family love my boy, I told him I had a dumb mother, boyfriend know you fool smiled and said, I will like you go honor her.Later, my mother knew boyfriends, hold carefully let my father called to ask how I like others, I have no bully.I smiled and let my father tell my mother were bullied him, he was really good for me.  Later, the mother sent two pairs of shoes of her own making, a pair of small floral cloth shoes, my mother never knew sizes shoes, a pair of black shoes to her boyfriend.The mother said in the letter two people live, would like to walk the same sense, two people helped each other to go further.Boyfriend saw laughing and said our mother really cute, there is talk than we taste it.  Floral pair of shoes I have treasured not willing to wear, I know that stitch, the mother of all love silent on the seam.Mother said that I was a butterfly, flew farther and farther, now fly to another city thousands of miles away.Only I know how to fly regardless of butterflies, butterflies are flying, but the sea, the mother is the silent sea, how I fly in her heart.